In the eye of the storm all is calm. When life is in session sometimes it can feel like a storm — logistics, planning, hurrying from one thing to the next. For me it’s so important to pause in the midst of all that and return to that peaceful, grateful place.
I could not be luckier than I am right now. I’m in my comfy chair, with my comfy blanket, and my cat Cleo kneading my lap in preparation for an epic morning sit. She is the best mindfulness coach ever.
There continues to be a knowing-doing gap with me. Like I know, and I write about, and I talk about, how important it is for me to eat right for me - right stuff, right time, right amount, right frequency. That when that’s off then my mood and my well-being are off, and mayhem — real or mental — is more likely to ensue. Same with sleep, exercise, socializing.
I’m waiting for this morning’s celery juice to take effect. My friend Jewel brought me her slightly used juicer last night when she heard I’d been semi-converted to juicing rather than smoothie-ing and did not actually own a juicer myself.
So, I’ve been talking more candidly to my friends, or rather they’ve been talking to me more candidly about all the “work” they’ve had. The tummy, the boobs, the thighs, the ass, the upper arms, and, of course, the face. The full-on face lifts, and then the chin implants, the cheek implants, jawline “softening,” brow lifts, neck lifts, and all manner of contouring way beyond the nose job. And then all the so-called non-invasive “maintenance” stuff, — chem peels, light facials, micro-blading, the parade of injectables including Miss Magic Botox and all her many sidekick filler friends.
I found myself searching VRBOs at a local-ish ski place early this morning. After the Disneyland debacle and the unwelcome lesson that what is wonderful for some just isn’t for me, Mike and I decided he would take Ax on an exciting spring break boys adventure and I would stay home and enjoy some solo time.
My sister Rosie, the rockstar talented physical therapist, gave me some little stretch and ab exercises last time I went to visit her and her family. I did them for a while, not three times a week like she told me to, but once in a while.
This day is as good a day as any to remember the love I’ve felt for the people, places, and things that have at one point or another given me joy. Today I will remember that feeling of being pleased and at ease.
I figured out that struggling with the truth makes me feel crappy so I’m going to try to not do that. I also have a habit of making up stories about situations and people, especially myself, where there’s a lack of acceptance of what is.
I slipped and went to Disneyland, even though my back was hurting and the drive was long, and even though the weather report said rain and my tolerance for wetness is low. I wanted to be a good mom, a good wife, and not the kind of good mom and good wife that I am, but a better one, a different one. One that likes a road trip and one that likes places like Disneyland, even in the rain.
I love dogs. If you have a dog, I’m happy for you. We have a cat. She’s rather dog-like I believe, in that she comes to greet us when we come home, likes attention all the time, and is rather interactive.
The initial joy-like feeling after purchasing the big white down sectional has worn off. Its lovely linen slip cover is wrinkled and floppy. The bright whiteness has dimmed with the dust of daily existence in our non-pristine real life home,
I started thinking about what I’m writing about which halted my writing for a few days.Thinking is not my friend when it comes to expressions of the heart.Once I’m thinking about it I feel like that spark part gets lost in brain which produces something different, less human, more artificial, slicker, than what I’m most curious about now.
Some of my peeps do a lot of PDG — public displays of gratitude. They say things like, “I love my life. I am so grateful for my life. It’s a beautiful day.” My inner rebel, let’s call her Kaboshia, says, “What-Ever!” Like a fourteen-year-old Valley Girl listening to a particularly lame parental. Kaboshia doesn’t buy it, this ooozing resting joy-face. The *ding* gleam in the eye of the raised consciousness crowd. She doesn’t buy it, perhaps doesn’t think it’s for her. Would rather rest in comfortable, known negativity than risk trying something new. Kaboshia swims in an ocean of fear that fronts like swagger.
Thank you Universe for the blanket on my lap and for our cat Cleo on the blanket on my lap.Thank you for my morning smoothie, the kale, the berries, the flax, the magnesium, the apple, the water, the mixer, the electricity, the jar from which I drink.
I know I should be more positive.Or rather, I should let myself be as positive as I am, and stop right there, rest in that space.In other words, I could practice being positive without the buts.None of that, “I’m really really grateful and fabulous — But....” stop at the good part.Stop at “Yay.”Notice when I’m overriding or keeping going right on through the tasty bits, and the nasty bits, notice when I’m moving it all along just a little too fast to notice much of anything.
I’ll admit that I had an avocado for breakfast and am currently drinking watered apple cider vinegar from a mason jar. But the smoothie blogging is over. For now. Now it’s back to the real nitty gritty, the Big Stuff: Brunch, co-hosted brunch.
Today: 1 bunch kale, 1 apple, 2 handfuls frozen berries, 1 splash apple cider vinegar, 1 handful of ground flax seed, 1 dash magnesium, 1 dash psyllium husk, 1 emergen-c packet, some water. Obvi AOAP (all organic as possible). I never thought I’d become a smoothie person, and maybe I’m not, since it’s only been four days after all. That said, today’s is a fresh, leafy, but surprisingly drinkable concoction and I am feeling better in my body and my belly. I don’t have to notice that, but I am noticing that.
2 lemons with rind, 2 handfuls of pre-washed super greens, 1 apple, 1 splash apple cider vinegar, dash of psyllium husk, dash of magnesium.Zoinks! This is a tart mofo today, with tiny bits of rind texture that aren’t a palate plus necessarily. But I’m drinking it.I had to add a glob of honey to cut the acid.
My stomach was jacked last week, unclear why.Not sick exactly, but not working optimally either. I did that “listening to my body” thing folks talk about, and my body, my belly, actually wanted a little time off from digesting. So I went juice, well actually smoothie.
A few of my peeps have some kind of comfortable quiet sitting morning ritual. During their morning sit sesh there might be some inspirational book reading, some pet patting, some gazing out the window as the morning light changes everything, and maybe even some gentle closing of the eyes while deep breathing in and out, listening to that, paying attention to that.
I’ll admit it, sometimes - ok oftentimes - a thought comes to me and I write it down before I really know what I’m going to say or do about it.Today is one of those days.And, what I’ve learned is, it’s ok.Or, “it’s all good,” as some would say.I don’t need to have it all figured out, every action, every plot point of every day or year of my life. I can relax and keep going at the same time.
I woke up this morning and immediately my frenemy Comparison, the thief of joy,was at me: No Plans for the Last Day of Break!And, all those skiing, beaching, far-off-traveling families just getting home and cooking up healthy snacks for the week or whatever those good, On It, families do — No plans for that either!