More Practice Indicated
There continues to be a knowing-doing gap with me. Like I know, and I write about, and I talk about, how important it is for me to eat right for me — right stuff, right time, right amount, right frequency. That when that’s off then my mood and my well-being are off, and mayhem — real or mental — is more likely to ensue. Same with sleep, exercise, socializing.
So yesterday I did my new-ish morning celery juice thing, which actually was a Suja juice super greens juice from the supermarket that I keep on hand for when I run out of celery or can’t bear to juice it myself. Then I did coffee, then I got Ax ready for school and dropped him off, then I returned to the gym for a workout which was relatively strenuous for me, then I went to a meeting.
And then after the meeting I got into a fight where someone asked me something and I thought they were criticizing me not just asking so I stabbed them in the eye with a knife. Well, no, I didn’t stab them in the eye with a knife but I was shitty and then they felt shitty and then I felt shitty, and ashamed, even after I apologized, and then I looked at the clock and it was almost noon and I was shaking because effing eff eff if I hadn’t eaten anything yet. And I get up early.
So I raced home, ate a handful of macadamia nuts — okay, two handfuls — which the book How Not to Die apparently recommends, and then I launched forth on the rest of the day, which did eventually include a lunch date where I ate bird and veg and complex carb, but it was too little too late.
Between the not eating and the morning conflict, the rest of the day unfolded in a feeling of rushing around while barely keeping going with a frenetic-feeling monster grocery shop, car care, and photo finish to pick up Ax and a surprise play date, which turned into a larger gather of seven-year olds needing snacks and drinks and specifically-colored reusable straws, which was actually good busyness.
Then, once everyone left, Ax and I decided 5pm track was not happening. I fixed him dinner, made muffins for the morning, which I’d been meaning to do for a week, and made myself an Emergen-C. I didn’t feel okay.
Then I sat on a step stool in the kitchen and cried while Ax watched tv and ate tortellini in the living room.
It was one of those days, and I didn’t start it over mid-day like some folks suggest. I’m having a new day today, a day that started at 4am with Ax stating he was ready to get up, getting up, requiring warm milk, then going back to sleep leaving me up for the day. A day that will end with evacuation energy given the storm reports. A day that probably should involve eggs for breakfast. Or at least macadamia nuts.
Thank you Universe for this day! I’m gonna keep going.