Evac Day 21/Day 52: It’s Actually Day 1
Today is Day 1, just like yesterday and the day before. Every day is a chance to re-start, I’ve been told many times. Today I’m going to take the re-start opportunity, consciously. The word “consciously,” to me, is one of those words I used to only be able to say with a curled lip and a wink but now I really do use it sincerely. It’s a good one for me, and what I mean when I say I’m doing something consciously is basically that I’m thinking about what I’m doing, I’m doing it thoughtfully.
As opposed to going through the motions riding on my default way of being or thinking, which is not necessarily so terrible, but if I want to feel better or have a better relationship with myself and with others than I do by default, then thinking about how I’m being in the world is kind of essential.
“Universe, please show me the way of patience, tolerance, kindness, and love for myself and for others.” I say that every night because for me, if I can be in that space, everything else becomes much easier and more enjoyable. And Me Likey easy and enjoyable. It’s not that I’m so noble, it’s that I like to feel good. My own experience and the anecdotal evidence of others has convinced me that this patience/tolerance/kindness/love recipe works. It really does.
I’ve been taught that emotions are what they are. I’m going to feel happy, sad, angry, scared, but if I – consciously – notice those feelings then there’s a chance that I can think my way, act my way, into more balanced patient, tolerant, kind, and loving ways of being, and then the feelings pass too. They always pass!!!
I can’t avoid the feelings but I can avoid acting on them. I can avoid the hijacked life, the hijacked days, weeks, months, or years. I can forgive everyone and everything that needs to be forgiven, including myself, including that mountain above our town, and move on. It’s Day 1 today. I’m gonna keep going.