Fear, Fear, Fear

I was wondering why Evie my inner critic was so quiet lately and then I got into it with a friend of mine about what it means to be friends – which we have a slight difference of opinion about, with me on the side of wanting to feel good and her on the side of wanting to help me be a better person, or something like that – aand then it all came out and Evie was back and she was nasty and also aggressively panicked. Here are some of the thoughts she had for my benefit:

• If I don’t cut Ax’s hair today and let him keep rocking that Beckham/Bam Bam man bun my family and I will die
• If I join parent club, or don’t join parent club, I will be homeless and die
• If I don’t figure out whether to be blonder or darker and do it, I will be ostracized from the pack, eaten by predators, and die
• If I don’t lose five pounds, really twenty, no one will like me and I will be burned alive, and die

So there you go. There I go. I’m glad I got it out. I’m pretty sure she’s incorrect. I’m gonna see what I can do to take the wheel back from this babe.