Sick Day

I am sick.  Not super sick, just run down, a scratch in the throat, congestion in the sinuses, heaviness in the head, the body.  If I really thought about it, really, today would be a great day to binge watch The Closer and drink hot liquids with honey.  Take a sick day, officially.  

And I know that if I’m in the mood to do that kind of thing, then it means I need to do that kind of thing, and not that I should push myself to keep up with the planned daily — unless the planned daily is really of vital importance to the wellbeing of others or myself or the free world or whatever.  Today however, pretty much all of my daily activities can be postponed without significant consequence when I really think about it.  Life will go on, tomorrow, or even the next day.

And yet, it’s still so hard to allow myself to stop.  Stop.  Stop and recover, recharge, before my body forces me to stop, before the symptoms get so loud I can’t possibly override them no matter how great my willpower.  So I’m writing this, and I’m still undecided, but it’s helping me get closer to a plan: Make tea, sit down, read Dan Siegel, and see what happens.  Treat myself as I would treat a beloved child, or a person I really cared about, whose well-being I valued.  I’m gonna keep going.

Sascha Liebowitz