I Have a Story

So I said to Mike, “I have a story that when we go on vacation with my family you’re going to be annoyed if I just go go go all day with them and ignore you.”

And he said, “Hmmm.”

And I said, “But at the same time I know you want to spend time with Ax and time working so I’m also afraid that if I want you to go go go with us constantly you’re gonna feel like you’re not getting the time you need to do you, and you’ll be annoyed.”

And Mike said, “Mmmm,” encouragingly. 

“So which is it, Bub?  Do you want to do all the stuff or be left alone or what?”

“Can it be that we check in in the moment?”

“No because what happens is you say everything is all good and then on the way home I hear how when I did this, that, or the other thing it wasn’t okay.  So I want to know the deal ahead of  time, not how I screwed up after the fact.”

“Uh huh. Ok. That’s fair.  Well, here’s the deal: I want you to have a great time with your family and do all the running around and everything you guys do and trust that if I need something I’ll take care of myself or let you know.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Well, check in then, more often.”

“Hmmm.  Ok well here’s another thing: What about if we all decide to dress up fancy one night?  Are you gonna dress up fancy with us?”

“Sure, I’ll wear my fancy tie dye.”

“Babe!!!” 

And so.  We came to some understandings.  He understood that I loved him and I understood that he loved me and that even so, or maybe because of that, we get to each do what we gotta do, and support each other doing that.  It’s a good deal.  I’m gonna keep going.

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