Stop at YAY
I know I should be more positive. Or rather, I should let myself be as positive as I am, and stop right there, rest in that space. In other words, I could practice being positive without the buts. None of that, “I’m really really grateful and fabulous — But....” stop at the good part. Stop at “Yay.” Notice when I’m overriding or keeping going right on through the tasty bits, and the nasty bits, notice when I’m moving it all along just a little too fast to notice much of anything.
Days of wake-eat-feed-dress-drive-interact-drive-eat-peep-poop-wash-interact-drive-feed-eat-undress-sleep type activities run on autopilot, like a robot, joylessly and painlessly. Churning in that restless middle place that has my mind racing for something more — a new electric car, a more vibrant veggie garden, a voter registration initiative, a law job, shorter — no, longer — hair. A pink sweater perhaps? A de-cluttered existence. A better savings strategy. A better earning strategy. A new gym membership. A new house. A new something for sure.
And then once all that is debated and rejected as not the source of anything sustainably mood-altering I remember that it’s been a while since I blogged. It’s been a while since I did those basic things I’ve been taught to do: Pray, meditate, yoga, nap, service, eat protein, breathe in and out deeply, think of three things I’m grateful for right now. 1) the sofa, 2) today’s smoothie, 3) the sun.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. There it is. Yay. I’m gonna stop there, and then keep going.