How Was Your Day?
When I pick Ax up from school, after having not seen him since morning, the first thing I say is generally, “How was your day?” And then he replies, “Pretty good.”
To which I say, “Great!” Or sometimes, “I’m so glad!” And then, inevitably an open-ended follow-up question — “Tell me about a part you especially liked?”
Or the more specific, “Cool! Did you sing any songs today?”
It doesn’t seem to matter what I ask or how I ask it. The answers are usually some form of:
“I don’t know”
“I don’t remember.”
And I leave it at that. “Ok sweetheart I’m glad it was a good day.”
I want so badly to connect with my child. I know his day has been filled with all kinds of cool stuff, stuff I would listen to him tell me about if I knew the right words to elicit his confidence. But I don’t persist. I don’t nag information from him.
I tell him I love him and fix him dinner and let him go play lego. Maybe he’d talk more if I went and sat with him while he was doing his thing. If I were better able to just be with him, connect with him on his terms and in his time rather than wanting it to be the way it’s most comfortable for me.
I wonder if he can feel how much I love him and I wonder if it feels good? Or oppressive? I want to give him just the right amount of space, not too much, definitely not too little. I’m gonna keep going.