My Very Own Is-Ness

I’m not a superhero, but I’m not a piece of crap either.  I’m a person, a person who is this way, at this time, these days.   So I can fight that or go with it.  I can get curious, more curious, about what are the inputs and practices that tend to create more joy, or peace, in me and those around me, and what conditions don’t.

And then, then when I start noticing what feels right for me and not right, then I start to have choices.  Before, when life was a kind of automatic series of trying to be good, or productive, or safe, there wasn’t a lot of choice.  When fear is running the show, when Evie’s holding the wheel, there’s no choice.  

But now I get to choose.  Acceptance of my is-ness or continued fight towards something different, better, more?  The result of which, the result of that constant battle, I think, has tended to be something actually much less interesting and joyful than fully inhabiting my life, as me, the way I am, in my heart.  I’m gonna keep going.