Rest, Snack, Mani-Pedi

Let me first say I don’t generally get mani-pedis, but a lot of people do.  And why?  Well, for some it feels good, and it’s a fashion thing too.  Like naked nails are not their look. For me painted nails are not my look and I don’t actually like the vibe or process of someone working on my feet and hands that way.  

And yet I’ve been thinking about getting a mani-pedi for a while.  In my mind it’s some kind of extreme pampering, a self-soothing activity.  But I don’t really think it will do the soothing I want it to do.

The soothing I want is not available at a nail salon.  It’s  from deep breathing, meditation, a daily reliance on something bigger than myself, and from right-sizing my expectations and demands of myself and others.  And taking care of the basics — sleep, food, exercise, socializing in the right doses.

Even after everything there’s this underlying push, an omnipresent dissatisfaction with how things are.  And a corresponding constant pull to fix, to adjust, to change everything and everyone including myself.  It’s exhausting.  

A mani-pedi is not the solution.  I can get one if I want one, and maybe I will.  I also want a new sofa, a new car, a new hairdo, a new house, and a new career, from time to time.  None of that will get that feeling of ease I crave.  That connectedness.  

That feeling is here, if I check in, tap into it.  Breathe in and out — all the way — into it.  I’m gonna keep going.