Learn to Learn

If I know something is not working for me, not right, it’s basic maturity to change that thing.  If I want change, I have to change.   And, the reverse is true.  If life is good, if my health, my relationships, my work, my moods, my inner dialogue are generally in balance and sustainable, then I need to stay with that.  

I need to not change a bunch of stuff, or plot big moves, which sometimes feels just as hard, if not harder, than launching big new initiatives.

What staying feels like, sometimes, is stiff, stale, cloistered, trapped, bored.  What staying feels like some days is pent up, tight, sad, lonely.

What’s the difference between an unpleasant feeling that should guide me in a different direction and one that shouldn’t?  

For me it has something to do with constancy over time.  Have I felt this way for a long time?  Or is it really just this day, this week?

Have I made the smallest possible changes first, tiny changes, consistently, over time, to alleviate this feeling?  Have I checked in with my trusted advisors?  With the people closest to me?  Have I taken pen to paper and really written down all the ways it could be me, not the situation, that’s got room for improvement?

Have I made space for it to pass on its own?  Just sat and breathed in and out ten times, had a glass of water with lemon, had a good night’s sleep, two nights in a row, and then re-considered?

The seductiveness of chaos is strong.  The fantasy of new versus the reality of what is seems to be a hands-down winner, always.  But then where am I living?  In fantasy, not in my life.  If I’m not in my life I’ve got no shot at enjoying it, of making the most of it, of being of use to others.

It’s time to practice karate, drop off the child, hit a meeting, plant that garden, lunch, admin, Yoga, pick up child, dinner, bed.  How will I feel?  I’m deciding good.

I’m gonna keep going.