Put the Garbanzos in the Salad

Yesterday Mike was on the road and Ax had his usual pasta dinner.  So when it was time to make dinner for myself I did what I do and put a bunch of greens in a big bowl.  Then I gazed in the fridge to see what, if anything, I could put on top.   There wasn’t much there.  The broccoli slaw was past its prime.  The red peppers Mike keeps stocked are not really my thing.  We had eggs.  I’d had eggs for breakfast but I’m not one of those scared-to-have-too-many-eggs people.

So I scrambled a couple of eggs and put them on top of the greens.  Normally, I’d be done at that point:  I have veggies, I have protein, I’ll stick a tad of goddess dressing on there for flavor and voila, mommy dinner.  Not too exciting, but tasty enough.  Healthy enough.  I won’t starve.  

But last night was different.  I said, “Let’s bump this up a notch.  There’s got to be something in this house to perk this up.”  

I considered seeds and nuts.  But I’m not into that so much.  I considered fruit.  But no, not with egg.  That’s just yuck.  I considered a variety of wheat gluten options, but those are regret waiting to happen for this person’s tummy.

And then I thought about the pantry.  Beans.  Garbanzo beans.  Tasty beans.  Hmmm.  Thing is, I’m not going to eat a whole box, and then the rest might rot before I eat them, and that’s waste.  Plus, I don’t really neeeeeed beans if I’ve got the eggs.  Maybe it’s too much, like over-reaching into pleasure.  I can do without them.

I got the box of organic garbanzos out of the pantry and cut it open.  Drained them, and sprinkled some on top of my creation.  

Immediately I felt the full body smile.  Excitement! Anticipation!  Yum!  My salad had gone from mere sustenance to a tasty feast for one with the addition of a few simple beans.  

But it’s not simple, not really, to think about where the beans are and then take the action to add them in and enjoy them.  Not for me.  

It’s not simple to remember that I am worth adding the garbanzos to whatever life salad I’m making at the moment.  To remember that it’s not only okay, it’s kind of my job to figure out what’s good for me and do that.  

Do that.  

Not some abstract idea of what I want that to be but the real thing.  The thing that delights me, me.  Over and over and over again.  It can be like that, I’ve heard.  It’s a practice, I’ve heard.  It takes practice.  

I’m gonna keep going.