Evac Day 14: Merry Solstice!
In meditation class today the teacher was doing his little pre-meditation talk and mentioned how there’s light and dark and everything is cyclical and all that stuff we know but if you’re like men need to be reminded of like All The Time. And then he mentioned how this time of year, when the light is diminished and the plants are receding and things are not flowing or growing so much, some intelligent animals, like bears and snakes, hibernate. They store up when it’s sunny and warm and then chill when it’s chilly. But I’m not a bear, or a snake, and I accept that. We people, my people, for whatever reason, choose to fight the flow of this time of year and set to partying, being out and about, merry and bright more than ever on the short, dark, cold days. Ok, so there’s that.
I’ve noticed that I’m pretty lively and game for anything and energetic until about 5pm, when the wall comes down and I need alone time. And what I’ve been doing is muscling through that feeling, keeping going, until 7 or 8 when I snap and get grouchy or edgy or both. It’s so unpleasant that burnt-out, ragged feeling. And there’s no prize for pushing through to the point where that’s how I feel. And then there’s the regret from snapping if I snap out loud, which I do more than I’d like to admit when I’m in that raggedy place.
So today I’m going to get scientific and rest BEFORE 5. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna keep myself out of that raggedy place. Give it a whirl and see if there’s some radical change I can make (like a 10-15 min midday unplug) that will allow me to continue all day long with grace and ease. Without that rah rah rah, crash, crash, crash.
I can enjoy all there is to enjoy, and there’s a lot to enjoy and feel grateful for right now, even now. I’m breathing, I’m living, tomorrow begins the return of the light.
I’m gonna keep going!