whatthefuckdoidonow-itis

Yesterday was a big day, it was a great day, the moon eclipsed the sun, Ax started kindergarten, I survived, and when I picked him up he said he’d had, “The best day ever.” And now it’s today and I have a little case of whatthefuckdoidonow-itis. The thing is, one option is, I could keep doing what I’ve been doing, what I’ve been enjoying, what’s been working for me. The fact that Ax has started kindergarten is big, but also not big, for me. I have to pack lunches now, and there’s a decent amount of school social stuff and volunteer stuff to get into if I want to, and I do want to, and eventually there will be a bit of homework, and then like in a year or two, a lot of homework. But that’s down the road.

Right now, today, could be smooth sailing/keep going mode. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Like an ocean liner hitting a little wave of differentiation, the wake of another boat or something. I feel it, but there’s no need to change course or do anything in response. In fact that would be nutty, if every time something external happened I adjusted my course for it, made a new initiative, set a new destination or goal.

Duh. I can keep going, keep writing my little essays, keep trying to stay healthy in body, mind, and spirit, keep trying to make the world a better place in small ways that work for me. Ok. That’s my plan. Keep going. Breathe deeply, in, and then also out. Relax everything, everything, my tummy, my shoulders, my jaw, my forehead, and breathe again. And ok. Thank you universe for my life. Thank you for my breath. Thank you for taking care of me and everyone else. Thank you. I’m gonna let today be my best day ever. Again.