Arugula Salad Healing
I called Jaz yesterday, “Wanna have lunch?” She couldn’t. Crazy busy with work, not available. I called Rainbow, “Wanna have lunch?” She couldn’t. Taking her mom to doctors’ appointments and the hairdresser. I called Pumpkin, “Lunch?” Nope. Date day with her hubby. Sunshine? Studying. I went about my business and did not call anyone else even though I was kind of terrified of the day, all wide open with previous plans having cancelled. Wanting the day to be a certain way and scared of the drift if I didn’t book myself up. But I didn’t want to book up with just anyone, because I was tender. Looking for a positive playmate to break up the time.
And then what happened was, as I was going about my business, I started talking to one of the ladies I’d met a few times before but never really talked to and she was quite interesting and funny, while wearing a matchy-matchy type outfit and well-groomed blonde bob.
She was interesting and funny and we started talking and she asked if I wanted to join her and her other friend for lunch. And I totally did and we totally did and we all had arugula salads and it was lovely and chatty and just what I needed. And then I went about my business all buoyant and with two new positive playmates.
I tell you – this story is actually true and not fiction and the reason I say that is because if it hadn’t happened to me I wouldn’t believe it. My default way of being is to really like a plan more than going with the flow plan-free, but more and more I’m realizing they both work.
I don’t need to be terrified if I don’t know exactly how my day is going to unfold hour-by-hour, or my life. I can see what happens if I show up and stay open and ready and take care of my basic needs. Make sure I have a sandwich when I need one and not when I don’t, get rest, avoid the energy sucks, the crap piles, the stuff that doesn’t serve, and keep going, incrementally, on my Plan A, slowly, gently, consistently, gratefully, breathing in and out.
And then the execution of that plan/non-plan, that vision, is where the rubber hits the road for me. The Knowing vs. Doing Gap. I’m getting better at closing that gap, doing what I know I need to do to feel better, more of the time, and it is working. The dips are not as low and not as frequent as they used to be and the baseline of wellbeing, my normal, is much higher than ever before. It feels amazing. And I never thought something like this would happen to me.