Take the win
My old mom group friends didn’t invite me to their family BBQ until I found out about it from another friend and then that person was like, “Oh yeah, you should come!” but it wasn’t a first round invite, and I’m kind of smarting from the feeling of having once been solidly in this mom pack and now being clearly peripheral. I feel like an afterthought if a thought at all where once upon a time it felt like I was core.
I called my friend Clarity, who’s still good phone friends with them even though she’s moved away to Portland, to not exactly complain but something like that. She said, “If you want to hang out with those chicks then you (just) have to call them.” It’s an excellent point. I don’t call them.
I don’t call them because I don’t really have much to say to them. I like them, but they’re not the go-to peeps. My husband, my son, my mom, my sisters, my family, and other non-mom daily interaction friends are much more likely to get my attention than they are. And it’s okay that my external social world has evolved that way.
I actually enjoy the people I hang out with quite a bit. Instead of that BBQ maybe we will go to the beach, or the science museum, or maybe we will stop by and just say hi to those folks for a bit and then go to Mike’s favorite vegan restaurant for quinoa and tempeh bowls and let Ax watch a show on his I-Pad.
I’m going to have a good time and enjoy what there is to be enjoyed in my life as it is today. I’m going to appreciate being part of that mom posse for a while and what it gave me, the good times I had with them, and I’m going to appreciate having time to do other things now. I’m going to take the win.