Ooops

            I started Zillowing instead of writing this morning and it’s not the way to start my day right.  I get a bit spun out looking at houses in unfamiliar places yet I’m drawn to it, like the jaywalker who keeps getting hit by cars yet patches himself up and continues his jaywalking habit only to get hit again.  So now I’m back at the morning writing part with not a lot of time but something to say, I’m sure of it, if I just keep going.

            That is the message I’m getting, over and over again, keep going, keep coming back to center, to ready position.  Keep going even though I don’t know where and I’m scared to move forward, scared it won’t be right or good enough, or that maybe it will be and then there will be change I can’t control or anticipate.  Scared because sometimes I feel like I’m coated in glue and it’s not the right time and maybe I should wait.  But I should not wait because it is the right time now is the only time there will ever be to be ready, to do what’s helpful to me, what I know, I can feel, is helpful for me if I listen. 

            So I need to keep going so I can be ready.  Ready for what?  Ready to give and ready to receive.  Ready to be part of the flow of life, flowing with life.  Ready to wake up my son gently with kisses and cooing and welcoming him to the morning of this precious day.  Ready to deliberately behold what’s in front of me and take it bit by bit, enjoy it, breathing in and out, aware of this day, this life, as a gift.