Moving to Bali in My Mind

Let’s clarify: I have not yet been to actual Bali. That said, when my current circumstances and world/life events seem untenably out of alignment with my priorities and values, aka: shitty, I’ve developed a thought tick of: “I gotta move to Bali.”

And what does my brain mean? For a long time I thought it meant I actually need to move to Bali. Like the universe was speaking to me through my own thoughtbrain: “Child,” (low deep voice) “You are not meant for this materialistic capitalistic superficial type society! Go, find your bliss in Bali!” aka Costa Rica, aka Portugal, aka Asheville, aka Canada, if it were warm and beachy, aka Anywhere Else But Here.

And yet, more and more I’ve come to understand that wherever I am there I am. And yes, I am highly influenced by my outer surroundings, that is true.

So I do what I can do to optimize the outer surroundings for myself but I’ve realized that my inner world is where the big big upside potential is.

Like, the joy-factor return on investment for taking the time and energy to go to Bali in my bodymind is way higher than the return on going to actual Bali.

And maybe I’ll want to go to actual Bali some time. I hear it’s not the utopia I imagine, and my actual real self is kinda drained by travel more than she used to be. So there needs to be a real real pull to go, a big return for the mental/physical/emotional cost of getting out of my hard-won, beneficial routines, and the effort to reestablish them on return.

It’s just that way for me right now. That’s a wordy way of saying I know that for me shorter adventures that have me back in my bed, my life more quickly are better than the longer journeys I might fantasize about. My actual life is how it is because it works for me. If it didn’t, I’d have already changed it.

So on days when I have the thought, “I gotta move to Bali,” it’s more productive to breathe in and out deeply, to go to that place of peace in my bodymind, hang out for one, maybe seven breaths, maybe more, and proceed from there. I’m gonna keep going.