Kowabunga Cannonball — Out

Today was my third walk with an actual “hiking group,” that walks for not very long on a flat but lovely trail. I found them because I was walking on the same trail one day and one of the members recognized me from the yoga studio I briefly taught at, which I’m on break from because a) my ex is there a lot, and b) my foot and back are not in the mood for yoga, although my mind is.

The other thing that is new-ish, in addition to breaking from yoga life, is that I got divorced this year. Also, our child became a teenager. Also, I’m going to be ten years sober sober, which is apparently when people start feeling antsy for new. Not necessarily loaded new, but new new.

I’m no exception. Thing is, I know that antsy is not an optimal vibration from which to chart new paths. I’ve done it. I’ve been here before. Not here here, but here in a situation where my old identity and life had shifted and I felt the pressing need to reinvent, to get on to the Next Big Thing as quickly as possible.

This time, I’m not doing that Kowabunga Cannonball into Next type of thing. This time, I’m trying to do the Consciously Evolving type of thing. The learning the lessons of the last chapter kind of thing. It is becoming less excruciating.

I’m on the verge of feeling good about giving my kid (and myself) as much stability and consistency as I can right now. I’m feeling good about slowing my roll through this transition. The hiking group feels like a lovely green sprout in the next chapter. Easy, natural, fun. I’m gonna keep going.