Wash, Rinse, Repeat

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It’s a constant tinkering this existence, for me. I get on a roll, or off a roll, and then something happens, and I start to notice I’m not feeling as good as I’d like to be feeling.

So then, once I’ve noticed that, the good news is I can get to experimenting with ways to feel better. For me, the first line of inquiry is always: How’s my sleep, diet, exercise, proportion of work time to play time, alone time to social time, taking care of others and taking care of self time? How’s my physical care going? Intellectual inputs and outputs going? Spiritual/emotional inputs and outputs going?

I can increase and decrease my dose of this or that — exercise time, alone time, social time, salad, nature time, desk work — or I can hang out on the same hamster wheel, doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result.

I’m not sure how to reconcile these self-examination practices with the notion that whatever it is, “this too shall pass,” and keeping going is the key, but there’s something. It’s like, part of keeping going is recognizing when to change it up. Change what I’m doing up, in small ways.

I guess it’s like this: There’s always, always some perfectly good external reason why my feet can’t quite feel solid on the ground and I can’t quite find that inner calm and stillness while also going about my daily life activities. A certain kind of humming unease that underlies even the sweetest moments, the mundane daily life moments, snuggling in bed with my loves or heating up soup, paying the bills or showing up for a play date, being there for a friend in need.

Sometimes life bugs, and sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes the bugginess has less to do with what’s going on outside than it has to do with what’s going on inside. And that’s when advanced living 101 requires, demands, taking stock. Taking action, asking for help, assessing, and adjusting as needed. Wash, rinse, repeat. I’m gonna keep going.