Flexible, Free, and Flowing
My body and my mind feel like solid rock some days. On those days, there’s so little give, so little space, that it’s an effort to simply walk. My back gets tight. I know it’s exacerbated by stress, or maybe even caused by stress. Physically, it’s the hamstrings. Tight hamstrings = tight back = ouch. When my back hurts, I’m hamstrung by some aspect of my life. I’m not flexible, free, and flowing.
I don’t want it to be the way it is, haven’t figured out how to integrate this new reality piece in so I tense against it, which doesn’t help make it not so, and doesn’t help me do what I’m here to do.
Which as far as I can tell is to enjoy being me, getting to experience this life as it is, and using my hodgepodge of qualities, circumstances, and proclivities to help others. That’s the deal.
Then I get to die knowing I’ve done all I could to live as I am, fully. Done all I could to allow my me-ness to come through in service to others, which results in a pretty awesome fulfilled kind of feeling. Not a locked-up, shut-down, my way or the highway, I-can’t-take-it-anymore! my back hurts feeling.
If I’m in the flow I hurt less. Sounds woo woo but it’s my direct experience so what could be more tangible, more real than that?
It would be so much easier to get a new lumbar pillow, take a hot bath, do some easy stretching, than to figure out what I’m holding onto and let it go. And I can do all that. But it’s a spirit thing, a soul thing, a consciousness thing. It’s available for me right now.
I’m gonna keep going.