More Breathing Is Indicated

More breathing is indicated. I talked to my sister Rosie and her husband Dash last night about my foot. Rosie is a super-fancy physical therapist and Dash is an actual practicing physician who’s been through medical school and all of that. They are both pretty amazing about this medical stuff, this healing stuff. And they love me, so even though I went to the old timer podiatrist near me about my foot, and even though my amazing orthopedic surgeon daddy looked at the x-rays and agreed with the podiatrist, I went for opinions three and four from my loved ones. And they were kind of different, kind of, well particularly one outlier point of view, though I’ve heard it before.

This essay is not a metaphor. I really have a foot issue, a few foot issues, like my actual bones in my actual foot – not a need to nourish what supports me or boost my groundedness through meditation, even though sure those things are always a plus – but like, a skeletal issue. It’s way beyond ice and elevation apparently.

And I don’t like any of the odds on the options ahead and I feel way too young to be dealing with this kind of overuse, old person issue and really annoyed at my younger self for commuting in 3-inch heels and dancing in heels and living in heels for years and years and years. This foot spread deformity, bunion on splayed out bone and other foot weirdnesses, might have happened anyway, but the shoes didn’t help.

And apparently even the ugly sneakers and clogs I’ve been wearing, supposedly healthy shoes, are not healthy enough and I have to wear something even bigger, clunkier, flatter than those unless I want to try the knife, a long rehab, and iffy results. I’m gonna keep opinion shopping perhaps, after Thanksgiving.

I’ll confess there have been times when I really, really, really did not want to keep going, when I wanted to lash out at random strangers, or my loved ones, when I wanted to cry and scream and simply give up. But I’m not giving up. I’m putting everything in a little box in my brain for the next three days and having a good holiday. I’m gonna keep going.