Ax has eaten most of his lunch the past several days and I’m tentatively thrilled. The guy was coming home from school and eating like a linebacker all afternoon and evening. It seemed a little sub-optimal but I have so many food issues myself I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. So I just kept feeding him when he wanted to be fed, and sending him to school with lunch food he said he wanted that would come home uneaten.
I’d love to tell you my secret but I don’t have one. I will say that though tempted I did not give up and stop sending him with lunch altogether. I kept going even though it was a bit demoralizing slicing apples and wrapping them up, buttering bagels and putting them in his little lunchbox, only to see it all return home untouched.
Then, on Tuesday, I dug out of the freezer some soy chicken nuggets that he used to love and then for a long time rejected. I nuked them up and drizzled honey on top of them, packed them up in a little bpa-free container, and he ate 7/8ths of them.
When I unpacked his lunchbox I remarked, “I’m glad you liked your nuggets today.” He said, “They were delicious! I guess my taste buds have really changed!” And he did a little rock star dance around the kitchen and I felt that happy mama thing, which feels really really good.
On Wednesday I capitulated to cute yet wasteful packaging and got this little lunchbox-sized pita chips and hummus combo pack at Trader Joe’s and he ate all of that too. In the car, on the way to school, he said, “Hummus is my favorite food.” Which was baffling since I have offered him hummus maybe three or four times a week for the last year and he has always said no. I said, “I’m so glad.” He said, “Thank you mom for making me such a tasty lunch.” And my heart melted.
I think it was the presentation, or maybe he’s gaming me, teeing me up for some big ask of some kind. Today I’m going to give him hardboiled eggs. He was very pro-hardboiled eggs for about a week two months ago, but since then it’s been a hard no on hardboiled eggs, or eggs any style for that matter.
I’ll keep making him lunch even though it’s unpredictable and I don’t know if it will be eaten and some days I’d really rather deep condition my hair than pack up food that based on history will most likely become waste. I’ll keep doing that and all the other stuff too, and maybe while I’m at it I’ll muster up some gratitude that I get to do all this. I get to take care of myself and my family. I get to. I’m gonna keep going.