Perfect Thighs and Other Assets

Even though I know comparison is the thief of joy I cannot help but notice that every other mom at Ax’s new school is thinner, fitter, and possibly younger than I am. Last week I let it bug me way more than it should. One mom in particular, Gazelle, has these thighs that are like the world’s most perfect thighs. And the rest of her is also really amazingly long and lean and fit and otherworldly. And I don’t want to perpetuate the objectification of women or be a victim of my internalized patriarchy/look-ism or whatever but I literally have to giggle when she shows up at the schoolyard because she is so freaking gorgeous just hanging out in the school mom uniform, leggings, tank, sneakers, trucker cap, kid’s backpack slung over her shoulder, go-cup of coffee or maybe green smoothie clutched in hand. Just like the rest of us.

I’m friends with her, kind of. She knows my name. I’m friends with a friend of hers. I’m making friends with her. She seems to be extremely nice and to have the regular kinds of interests and concerns a lot of us moms do, like how to keep our families and ourselves healthy, how to balance a desire to work and make money with a desire to be available to our kids, how to maintain and enhance our relationships with our partners, our friends, and our communities.

I think we have a lot in common actually. If I get over how amazingly gorgeous she is it will probably help us be friends. And then I was hanging out with this other mom and she was saying to me something like, “Wow you are so wise and mellow and know so much about so much!” which of course is not how I feel at all. A lot of the time I feel pretty grouchy and confused. But I just kind of laughed. And I had this revelation that for that mom my way of being – which has taken some work – is kind of like that other mom’s perfect thighs are for me.

Each of us is born with certain potentialities and then we work them, we hone them, we invest in them, and they develop. I’m gonna go meditate and enjoy my perfect thighs today. And theirs too. Peace.