After a kind of jangly week I’m ready for this weekend to feel relaxed and at ease. I have a lot of things I don’t like to do that I need to do, like administrative stuff and cleaning stuff. I guess technically that stuff could wait but they’ve both risen to a level where it’s more painful not to deal with it than to deal with it. Which means it’s time. And even that stuff is not terrible if I do it in small chunks and reward myself with nice things like a bath, or a walk, or a fizzy water with lime on the rocks, or a little home dance party. I know that, but there’s still the dread of getting started, of actually getting into position and doing what must be done.

I can do it. Last week I even cleaned out my car and took it to the car wash, an activity I’d been putting off for a ridiculous amount of time – my Prius was terrifyingly full of clothing, Ax art, beach toys, towels, and mystery. There was a lot of laundry. But after all of it that nagging feeling of wanting, of needing, a new car really died down. I didn’t need a new car, I just needed to clean the old one. Like, a lot.

A friend of mine looked into the trunk the other day and said, “Wow, you look like a mom who’s got it all together.” Ha! I still have a ton of stuff in there, but it’s in those multicolored African baskets that had been storing toys but are actually a little big for that. They look kind of festive and we already owned them, which is a plus.

So I’ve got a basket for tennis stuff, a basket for beach stuff, a basket for shopping bags and a soccer ball. Plus Ax’s scooter and helmet, a big umbrella, a couple of tennis rackets, an extra pair of hiking sneakers, three hats, and a sweater. But it’s organized, and there isn’t sand everywhere like there used to be.

When I look in the trunk, at my rolled up shopping bags in their basket, easily grab-able, and only the ones I like, I feel happy, at peace. So the plus side of taking care of the stuff I don’t like to take care of is the after-glow, and the benefits of having stuff work the way I need it to work for me to feel better. So okay. I’m gonna dive into the admin and cleaning this weekend, maybe even today, and bask in the results. Doing it. Tally-ho.