For 12-Steppers and 12-Step Curious
Step 10 & 11 Daily Checklist Ref: Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 83-88 and 567-568; Merriam-Webster and other dictionaries. I wrote this checklist for myself to help me unpack the directions in the big book and look a little more intentionally into how I am in the world.
A. When we retire at night, we constructively review our day.
- Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid?
a) Resentful: Having or showing a feeling of anger or displeasure about someone or something unfair.
(i) I was resentful when I thought/felt/said/did:
b) Selfish: Taking care of oneself without thought for others. Concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself, seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, well-being, or welfare without regard for others or in disregard of others.
(i) I was selfish when I thought/felt/said/did:
c) Dishonest: Lacking truth or trustworthiness; deceptive, deceitful with oneself or others.
(i) I was dishonest with myself or someone else when:
d) Afraid: Filled with concern or regret over an unwanted situation; Having a dislike of something; Worried something will cause pain or injury.
(i) I was afraid when:
- Do we owe an apology?
I owe an apology to (person) ________, because I thought/felt/said/did _________.
- Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? [Y/N, describe]
a) Big stuff, little stuff, stuff that bugs me, stuff I’m hopeful, excited, uncertain about, stuff I’m worried about, resentful, selfish, dishonest, afraid about, etc.
b) Who could I have called for support or advice? Who could I call in the future?
- Were we kind and loving toward all? [Y/N, describe]
a) Kind: Having or showing a friendly, generous, sympathetic, or warm-hearted nature. Tender, considerate, and helping. Agreeable, beneficial.
b) Loving: feeling or showing affection or warm regard, motivated by affection.
(i) I felt or acted kind and loving today when:
(ii) I did not feel or act kind and loving today when:
(iii) People, places, things, situations, and ideas, including myself, toward whom or which I did/did not feel or act kind and loving today:
- What could we have done better?
a) See items A.1-4, above. For each, complete the sentence: “If I had it to do over again, I could do it differently or better like this: __________.”
- Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? [Y/N, describe]
7. Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? [Y/N, describe]
8. But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. [Tomorrow is another day.]
9. After making our review we ask Gd’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.
a) Gd, please forgive me.
b) Gd, what corrective measures should I take? What, if anything, should I do to right these wrongs?
A. On awakening, let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead.
- We consider our plans for the day.
2. Before we begin, we ask Gd to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.
a) Self-pity: A self-indulgent dwelling on one’s own sorrows or misfortunes.
b) Dishonest: Lacking truth or trustworthiness; deceptive, deceitful with oneself or others.
c) Self-seeking: The act or practice of selfishly advancing one’s own ends.
3. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all Gd gave us brains to use.
4. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.
[Good morning Gd. Please direct my thinking, divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Please help me avoid resentment, dishonesty, selfishness, and fear today. Please show me the way of patience, tolerance, kindness and love today.]
THROUGHOUT THE DAY
As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. It works – it really does.
Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, ask Gd at once to remove them. We discuss them with another person immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone.
Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.
Love and tolerance of others is our code.
We are neither cocky nor are we afraid
Each morning in mediation we ask that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love.
Our behavior will convince them more than our words.
Step 10. "Continued to take a personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."
Step 11. "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Gd as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."
If I run my day thinking about the kind of checklist I want to see in the evening it tends to be a better day. I'm gonna do that now.