Keep Going – Yes, Again!
A friend’s boyfriend who I didn’t know was reading my stuff read something of mine and then said something to me about it. What he said was that he read one of my pieces and it “seemed to be about staying present.” Well, yeah, that’s what they’re probably all about since I’m writing this stuff to help myself and that’s probably what I need the most help with. Staying in reality and staying present rather than getting all tweaked out and off course zipping around or going completely dormant.
I’m a Western babe living in a 3-bed, 2.5-bath with a biggish mortgage, a husband, a kid, a cat and worldly ambitions. Staying present is way way way advanced for me. Staying present sounds like Buddhist monk territory, and I’m no Buddhist monk. That said, I can make a decision, over and over and over again to come back to the positive view of reality, bit by bit, more of the time, so I can feel better more of the time.
Another friend came over, “what’s your blog about anyway?” she said. I said it’s about me trying to keep mentally balanced. She asked, concerned, “Do you feel mentally unbalanced?” I said, “No, but it takes some action for me to stay that way, to feel good more of the time.” She said, “Oh dear, is something going on? Are you feeling bad about something?” I said, “No, I’m actually feeling pretty good for me more of the time than ever, but I have to think about it.”
After an awkward silence she told me that she was too busy to feel anything most of the time, and that she just didn’t think about it. I told her I understood, that I’d spent years of my life like that, and that some people spend their whole lives like that and it works for them. I have no judgments about folks who get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, pass out, and do it all over again the next day.
It didn’t work for me, that kind of busy life. So I’m trying something else now and I’m going to keep going.